Look for these characteristics: 

• They create a false persona as a protective barrier – like a false identity. 
• They can be very likable - at least at first but the closer you get to them, the more their true character traits come out.
• They lie.
• Lack of empathy.   
• They have an underlying sense of entitlement.
• Some like playing the victim role to get attention or to twist the issue so they don't have to look inward to make changes in themselves.
• Exaggerated self concern.
• They are unable to have deep heathy and happy relationships.
• Constant denial of damages they inflicted, themselves – if they do admit, its at a very minimal emotional level.  Narcissists tend to externalize blame, pinning the blame on everyone but themselves.
• Destructive and self-defeating in marriages.
• Failure to recognize others emotions, feelings and needs – especially closer relationships.  
• Fragile self-esteem but appearing tough-minded or unemotional – except for anger.
• They don't feel guilty or convicted for hurting others, they will just continue as normal as though nothing has happened.
• They have difficulty regulating emotions.
• They are known to use things to anesthetize themselves to escape the "emotional realm": drugs, alcohol, gambling, internet, sports, television, video games, pornography, etc.
• Extra marital affairs are prevalent because it boosts their self-image and is noncommittal; even if they have a loving spouse.  
• Pornography fills a fantasy relationship that they can control in their mind and there is no risk; which also can give them a fixation with masturbation because it gives them physically what they need without the burden of “emotional connection”. ​
• They shun the ones who truly care and are trying to help them because their "pride"(false-pride) doesn't want to look and see that they have something wrong with themselves. 
• Many times, they monopolize conversations.
• They experience major problems adapting to change.
• People are things to be used for their benefit to fill the lack of emotional needs that weren’t met as a child.
• They eventually sabotage or destroy their good/close relationships.
• They often isolate themselves especially if they are exposed.
• ​They usually have underlying depression and anxiety. 
• They keep their surface relationships, so they won’t be lonely (again, another form of using).  
• Personal relationships are usually at a surface level because this would require them to be vulnerable and that is “perceived danger”.  
• Narcissists generalized that all are harmful and cannot be trusted.  
• They are very defensive and self-protective.
• They will sidestep your questions doing things to make you suddenly forget what you were asking. Narcissists can be very skilled at dodging and ducking questions they don’t want to answer. If you press them, they will then “slot” you as “unsafe” and will begin to avoid you.  
• They often display condescending or patronizing attitudes.
• They will be your friend and keep you close to themselves (so it appears) as long as you are useful.
• They can be giving but it will be always from a non-emotional level.
• ​Men are more likely to be narcissistic than women. 

 
Christian perspective:
Jesus can heal.  This person must go back to childhood wounds and face them but also know that Jesus will help them change if they allow Him to.  They need accountability for a while to help them stay on the path of truth so they will not go back to the lies and habits they have believed in the past.  They also must stretch themselves and begin to be giving emotionally to others, especially the ones closest to themselves; which are their most feared.  As children, the ones closest to them were the most emotionally dangerous so they have “labeled” their closest relationships as dangerous.

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If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways,
then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
​
2 Chronicles 7:14